Dear Angels: I am so glad to be with you here, now. Today was a doozie. I was emotionally shaken because I feared I had done something that would bring loss to me, the loss of someone dear to me, my friend P. He is much more than a friend but in my heart I feel the truth of our friendship, and I was sad that I didn’t honor it. I wished I could take back my communication, but still, it brought good. We talked tonight and he listened to me and he spoke openly and heartfully. I'm very glad that we’re on a good path again. But I feel some fears are still with me, some fear beliefs that I have worked hard to shed. I know I need to be patient, and in truth I’m excited about my growth and change and especially how this wonderful connection with you and with JM and others has fueled my recent growth and given me such impetus to be all that I can be. So this event with P – it gives me all the more inspiration and motivation and enthusiasm to change, to keep climbing up that ladder of goodness. I learned a powerful few lessons today: to speak my truth quietly and clearly, to be respectful of another person’s feelings, and to think, think, think before I speak, and most of all to be aware of my ego voice and to let it gently disappear. So – will you tell me about today, about tonight, about tomorrow, about me and my growth and my change and my love? I feel so much love and I want to share it widely.L, it is good that you are examining all these aspects of your day and of your thoughts and of your relationships. You see, relationships are the fuel, the fodder for our growth. Without relationships we would be like the oyster in the shell, with the grit of sand around us and with the shell of protection encasing us in a cloistered hall of silence. This is not what we want. We want to be resounding in our joy and in our sharing and in our explorations of ourselves. And it is through relationships that we do this because relationships are for us a divine mirror of ourselves. In the face of each other person, we see the face of self.
So today in the event with P you were more clearly able to see your thoughts. If you had not had P as part of this scenario, the thoughts of your mind would have wafted into the hinterlands. But because you value your relationship with him, because his presence means a great deal to you, you were forced, by virtue of the impending drama, to examine your thoughts for the impact that they would have. You did not mean to hurt P. You only meant to communicate what you were feeling.
But if we do not stop to examine what we are feeling – to thoroughly examine it before we speak or hit the send button – then we can indeed jeopardize a relationship. In the physical world relationships can be fragile. Many walk on delicate ground. Some people have thicker skin. And some issues mean little to some people whereas the same issues can mean more to others. But in each and every communication there is meaning, whether or not we recognize it.
So today there was a drama with you and P. And you are both to be commended for having the courage and the desire to learn from it and to grow from it. This is a testament to the love that you share – and when we say love we refer to the love that is inherent in the human heart: the love of caring, the love that is expressed in pure friendship, the love that means that two people share values and the joy of connection. Love is indeed a multifaceted element of us, but it is truly the essence of who you are; and to express your essence in any way – especially to someone dear to you – this is a great gift of sharing and it is always a healing, that is, it truly allows the blood to flow more freely within the body and within the mind, and the neurons of your entire nervous system are gracefully touched and freed. Love is the salve that heals all and carries all goodness in its path.
Now, with P you have felt a bit of a struggle at times, or let us say confusion. You have wondered what his role is in your life. You have wondered how much energy you should put into the relationship. You have wondered how long and how fully you might indulge this relationship – “indulge” because you felt some degree of resign that it cannot be more than what it is because of the distance geographically.
But you must understand that your life is what you make of it, and there are no impediments in this world save the impediments that you design for yourself. There is truly no limit to what you can create.
The words that come from your fingertips as you have explored your relationship with P are not words from on high, per se, but words from your soul and spirit, words from your core. Your words are YOU; you are soul and spirit. You are the inspiration and the energy of your divine connection, and so believe in your inspiration and know that it is a part of you. We, as a part of your spirit energy, are not separate from you, but we are part of you and we become you and your consciousness, as you become us and our consciousness, and as you and as we desire this connection. We are at all times connected, and yet we await your desire to connect and your willingness to acknowledge the oneness that we are. You are spirit, you are soul, and you are a physical entity with divine spiritual sensory awareness. Wake, become awakened, and we together fulfill the promise of divine consciousness.
So as you have been exploring your relationship with P, you have been listening to the words of your heart, and to some degree the words of your ego as you hang on to fear beliefs – which are normal and totally a part of the human path of existence. It is through our fears that we discover what we don’t want and ultimately who we are. We are not our fears. We are in truth - in absolute truth - the absence of fear.
But you have given in to fears so that you will see, within each fractal image of thought, a trace of the thinking processes that define your daily life. To lose your fears is to redefine yourself and your world. You are looking for this redefinition. You are looking emphatically and gloriously and you have found a million gems. Each word that you write is a gem of discovery. Keep writing. It serves you well.
Now, before you is the challenge of understanding your role with P and his role with you. There are no definitives with this. You must understand that all relationships under the sun are subject to growth and change. You are energy. You are open, by virtue of who you are, to change. So you may do well to see your relationship with Paul in this same light. P is indeed a being of light. He is a guiding light to many and he inspires as he lives because he lives with inspiration and courage and an honesty and commitment to life and to change, which gives pulse to change in others. He can guide you and he can and has and will, if you allow the energy to flow, bring many gifts to you.
What do you want? It may not serve you to seek to define, but rather to seek to know the heart. Within the heart the blood flows, and within the heart of a relationship the blood of love and light flow so as to bring new understandings. You see, you and P in many respects are looking to understand yourselves, and you see much in the face of the other that you wish to see in self. In P, you see courage, you see strength, you see his dignity and his calm demeanor, and yet also his exuberance and his heartfulness and perhaps best of all his warmth and openness. He does feel ever warmly toward you and this is a great gift from a great man. As you accept this gift, you honor the giving nature of P.
And in you, P sees the light of sharing, the joy of sharing, the excitement of your movement, the gracefulness that you exude, your quick and clever mind, and your symmetry. He appreciates your commitment to sharing and your desire to be open with him. He appreciates most of all the color and the kindness of you. As you share beauty with him, this brings to him an awareness – a greater awareness - of his own beauty, and this, too, is a gift.
So with each of you there is a presentation of many gifts as you choose to share them.
Now, it may be time to let go of your need to define this relationship. It may be time to just let it be what it wants to be. Trust that P cares for you. Believe that love is not only afoot but is bountiful in your hearts and in your minds not just for each other but for life and for living. As you can share these facets of love, this will bring happiness and a presence of mind that is absent of fear beliefs and judgments, but rather present with all the good things that come with being open to all that is.
You are both children of “God” – children of the Creative Energy that created you; and as you acknowledge this and understand how great you are by virtue of this relationship to your Creator, you fulfill a destiny that brings light and vivid color to your lives.
So allow your time with P to breathe on its own accord, without stricture, without a holding or restraint. Allow the fullness of air, of light, to come into your hearts. Know that there are no limits. Trust that you are both learning. Have faith that your lessons are blessed and needed and perfect for each of you. You are different people and yet you share in this bond, this sacred bond of caring and reverence for your lives, for the people in your lives, for your families, for the children in your families. These appreciations imbue you both with a lightness of heart and a beauty that shines for all to see.
Take heart in knowing that all is as it should be at this time and that your future is an open book. Nothing is preordained; nothing is set in stone. You have freedom of choice, will and intention. These are gifts from the Creator, and if you use them wisely, with love, truth and equality, you will bless your own selves with the most amazing gifts you have ever known.
Remember that the greatest gift of all is the love of self. As you shower your own self with love, you give this gift to each and every person you encounter. Give this to P, and your gift will be returned many times over.
Know that we are with you and that we send you love in each and every moment.
Good night.
