Dear Higher Self: Today I've been a bit blue. My time with P may be coming to an end. I care deeply for him but some pieces are missing. I want to have an enduring, encompassing relationship with someone. I see others in viable and loving relationships and I wonder why I have not yet created this. I know I need to be patient. But I feel impatient. L, there is much to be grateful for and happy for in the creations of your life. You have led and you lead a very happy life! Do not despair. Patience is a virtue and it is not a simple ethical value to hold, and yet you are working on this value and in time you will feel that you have a firm foothold in this vein.
Now, with respect to P, you have been exploring this relationship for some time and it has produced many good things for you. You have found much pleasure and much gain. And things are not over. There is still more to explore with P, and he is eager to explore with you. But you must make some decisions first: What are you willing to give in your life in order to keep the relationship active and viable? It is not that you must sacrifice, but you have only so much time and certain resources, and you must work with these. Also, there is the emotional cost of the relationship if it is not producing the emotions that you want it to at every juncture. This must be examined.
You must also realize that time is of the essence in creating some of the other greater goals that you have. You have work to do with the IMS, and they need your assistance. And you have work to sink into at your job. And you still have the greater goal of creating a relationship of maximum potential.
Is P that relationship of maximum potential? You can tell if you look at some of these other tasks that are before you, and see how P may fit into them. Can he help you? Is he interested in these aspects of your life? Is he ready and willing to be a part of your world, or you his? If the answer is yes, then you can know that proceeding to explore a relationship with him would be a viable thing to do. But if the answer is no, then perhaps you are barking up the wrong tree.
Not that any tree is wrong. You will learn regardless. But your learning can be more productive or less productive and expedient depending upon how quick you learn the lesson.
So let us examine what some of the lessons are with P.
Perhaps you still hold the sex equals love belief. Are you looking to P to fulfill your image of an appreciative lover? Do you want him to treasure you and hold you and appreciate your virtues as a female? Not that this is wrong, but is this appreciating the inner you and the essential aspects of you that you will take with you when you depart this world?
Perhaps you are looking externally for the love that you seek within. Do you wish that P would shower you with love so that your ego can be sated with what your spirit would otherwise be sating you with if you acknowledged your spirit energy? Your spirit and your soul are with you at all times, and at all times your soul and spirit are showering you with love and peace and joy and hope and care and passion for living life and giving of self to others. But as you look to others outside of self to award you or reward you with these virtues, you are looking futilely because this cannot be done. Another person cannot give you what you are not giving yourself.
So here is a major challenge to look at yourself, look deep within the soul and spirit of self, and find the golden nuggets of love and self appreciation that will reflect outwardly and draw to you the person who will want to share on an equal or higher level than where you are now.
Always look to the advancement that can be had in a relationship – the advancement of the soul and spirit, that is – because the advancement of material things is really just a shadow acquisition and ultimately it will not produce what satisfies you.
Now, P is indeed an advanced soul who cares deeply for you. You must realize this and acknowledge it and understand that he is doing the best he can at this time to show you the care in his heart. He does have a big heart and he wishes for you to know that you are deep within his heart and within his mind. Please take this to heart and know it. You must not doubt. Believe. Believe and succeed.
But neither of you is certain what lies ahead with the other. You do not need to answer these questions of future with each other because they cannot be answered at this time. You both have the ability to go with the flow and see where each day may bring you with each other. This is actually a great benefit of being in a relationship at a distance because you have the luxury of time and space to walk slowly, which is usually to be valued.
In the meantime, just enjoy your life. Do those things that you need to do, and follow your inspirations as they flow and as they come to your mind and into your heart. Your only goal with P should be to appreciate the gifts that he shares and to see the beauty within him and within yourself. Beyond that, attend to your responsibilities and give love to all. Shower the world with love as you see opportunity, and indeed there is opportunity in each and every breath you take to live love more fully in the world.
Share the love in your heart with P, without expectation, without question, without the goal of forever because forever cannot be defined in the physical plane. Just know that you are forever soul and spirit, and that as such there is no space and time boundary to your relationship with anyone, least of all with someone who has truly expressed the love of his heart with you.
So trust P. Know that his heart is in the right place, and that each of you is working to create some elements in your life that are important and significant and valuable not only to you as children of God - children of the good and of the love of the Creator - but to the Creator and to the Universe. There is no act of love that goes unnoticed or unfelt in the larger scheme of space and time and Universal energy.
Enjoy your life, L. It is the gift you have given yourself. To appreciate your life is to appreciate the gift of life that imbues you with the energy to live, to love, to share, to be, to come into larger and larger fields of creative energy as you and your energy join forces with the Creator.
Believe in yourself. Believe in your love. Believe in P’s love. And share all that is in a glorious celebration of life.
Be well. Thank you for listening.
