Dear angels, I’m trying to pull this all together about J. Got a message from him this morning, responded, he replied, etc., etc. I feel that the energy is moving in good ways forward for both of us and yet still I feel those energy threads tying me to him or rather to my own fears. I feel some draining. I want to uplift myself. I want to understand and let go definitively. Please help me understand.This is a time when you are testing yourself to see what you have learned. We have talked about learning happening in a fractal relationship to each other level of learning. You do not learn in a linear fashion. To learn in a linear fashion would be to step back and forth, back and forth like a lion pacing in a zoo cage. If you were to learn like this you would never truly move forward.
Moving forward in our understandings entails reviewing, and then reviewing the review, and then reviewing the review of the review into infinity, in a spiral pattern that allows movement upward and outward, so that you expand in ever widening, infinite bands.
The physical world is the plane where you learn through physical experience. There is no separation between the incidents in your life and the energy of your mind, which is truly a reflection of the spirit of you. You see, you are made of many parts, and each of these parts is connected. In childhood you had a song – the kneebone is connected to the thigh bone and the thigh bone’s connected to the hip bone, etc.
You could sing this same song but replace the physical parts with the more spiritual parts of yourself – the parts that are not seen or the parts that are not often considered when you consider who you are as a human being.
You are a soul and you are a spirit living in the shell of a human body. The human, physical body is your creation THAT YOU DESIGNED for the purpose of your advancement as a soul and spirit. Your physical shell allows you time and physical experience to examine yourself through your relationships with other humans. It is through relationships that we come to know ourselves better – that we come to understand our own selves through the reflection that we gain of ourselves in the image of the other person.
So J was a reflection of you. You see the lessons from your time with him in clearer and clearer ways as you continue to interact with him albeit on a more constrained level, and you see the role that he played for you. You must look at the deeper layers of judgment that you feel toward self. Perhaps you feel that he did not acknowledge you for who you feel you are. Perhaps you feel that he took advantage of you. Perhaps you feel that he was not freely giving of his heart and soul as you would have liked him to be. Perhaps you feel that he moved away too expediently. Perhaps you feel that he negated the value of his time with you by behaving as he is now behaving.
Yes, indeed I feel those things.
Then you can say to yourself, as you acknowledge these feelings, that all of those feelings are actually feelings that you feel about yourself. How have YOU undervalued yourself as you interacted with J? How did you define yourself and how do you define yourself as a human -- as a loving being or as a worthy being, or as someone less than deserving of infinite joy and happiness? How can you rise to your fullness of self appreciation without perceiving J as a culprit in any way?
This is your challenge.
This is my challenge. I want to see myself as fully worthy. I want to create a fully worthy life. I want to appreciate J for all the good things that I have gained and for all the benefit it holds to me understanding myself.
Good. Keep up the good work. Share with friends. Be kind to yourself. Do not judge J and do not judge your friends on any level because any judgment is a judgment of self.
Now, J is aware of what he would like to have done differently during his time with you. And in his new relationship he will have the opportunity to practice some of his learnings. This is perfect for him and it is perfect for you to do the same with your learnings. So just be aware of what you are trying to learn. This is the antidote to feeling any angst about perceived “mistakes” or perceived failures or any energy in our life that we want to change. There are no failures and there are no mistakes. There is only learning.
And what you have learned and continue to learn is immense. But you must focus on the good and relieve yourself of the burden of feeling hurt or feeling deprived. You are learning what it means to be very happy with yourself independent of another person in your life. The gain from this lesson is immeasurable. It is timely and it is perfect that you understand this lesson from as many angles as possible because learning to feel complete and whole is a lesson, a great lesson of freedom, and in learning this lesson you will find an exceptional gain in all aspects of your life. Your consciousness will expand with each fractal image that you gain of this lesson.
So be happy that this communication exchange happened today. It is yet another opportunity for you both to acknowledge the gains and acknowledge the growth and acknowledge the love that you share, however deeply held it is and however fleeting it may feel on the surface. The surface is where the winds blow but the undercurrent is where the Earth’s movement is most prominently felt. In the undercurrent is the glory of gain. But see the surface, too, because the sun shines brightly upon the gentle waves.
J is there for you in his heart, and you are there for him in yours. Accept that gift, and then let go of the attachment to anything else. Your gift is in letting go of that which will always be a part of you no matter how you perceive it through your intellectual mind. Love will be and is an eternal part of you. It is yours. Now let it go into the Universe to bless each and every person, each and every energy that your energy field blends with. You are part of a bigger Universe, the All That Is, and All That Is will always be with you. You are Love. You are Loved. You Are.
