I’ve been thinking about unconditional love. I have a little sign on my mirror that helps me remember to feel it, especially for people that I’m feeling adversely toward. So some adversity has crept into my thinking about J. I perceive that he cut me out of his life and it makes me angry. But I’m trying not to see things that way and just to see from a loving perspective. How can I get back to that center of unconditional love that I was feeling – love that holds no expectation, that is free of all expectation? I was feeling so free!The heart and mind of man are funny things – they do not always work in unison, and so when they are at odds with each other, discord can result. What you are feeling is a sense of discord. Your heart tells you that you love, and your heart feels the love of another human – which is truly there, but your mind tells you something else. Your mind is playing games with you. It is your ego that is speaking to you. The ego is a shadow vessel of the mind. It floats around the intellect as a collective body of fear beliefs, and it filters all thought emanating from the mind in a filter of fear. So you are feeling the effects of thought filtered in fear.
Fear beliefs are very old. They are ancient. When you hold them up in the light of day and see them for the vacuous illusions that they are, they have no power. But they are not always easy to get rid of because they are so old and therefore they run deep.
So you must look in your mind and examine the fears that are related to the discord that your mind is making you feel. What are the fear beliefs? Do you believe that you are unequal to J and therefore that his attitude toward you can make a difference to you? Do you believe that his thought is more powerful than yours? Do you think that without J’s love and attention you are unworthy? Do you look to him to define who you are? Do you believe that being loved by a man will give you power? Will his perceived love somehow protect you? Are you afraid of being yourself?
These are some questions to look at as you examine your feelings of anger about what you perceive as him having removed some avenues of communication.
To examine your anger is to hold it up in the light and breathe a little hopefulness into it so that it does not take hold of your more rational, loving thoughts.
Truly there is nothing that J or anyone can do, think, say, or behave toward you that can make you feel inside any differently when you feel the love and the trust of your own self and your own thinking.
But we often give our power away to another because this is what we have done for many, many years, especially as females. We acquiesce our own power – our own freedom of thought, freedom of will and freedom of intention – to someone else, believing, ironically, that somehow this will imbue us with power. But it does not imbue us with power. It only takes away our sense of freedom to be who we are, and it leaves us feeling lost and isolated.
So the challenge is to uphold your own power and to recognize that no one holds sway over you or your thinking or your judgment. You have all the tools that you need internally to be strong of character and to be happy. When you give your power to another, as anger does, you externalize onto that person your internal anger at self.
So here again is an opportunity to look at self. Why are you angry at yourself? Do you believe that you are not adequate as a lover or as a friend? Do you judge yourself for having behaved in a certain way? Do you put yourself beneath the status of another lover that J may or may not have?
There are many little thoughts, insidious thoughts, that color our negative thinking. So if you have any of these beliefs, these thoughts, then you can examine why they are there, and you can tell yourself that they are simply not true. Tell yourself that you believe in yourself, that you are a being of light, that J is a being of light, that everyone is a being of light and that you are all on each other’s stage of life in order to play a role for the purpose of providing a mirror of your own self. J is a mirror for you, and you have been a mirror for him.
So the challenge here is not to look at J but to look at yourself. Keep looking at yourself, and while you are at it, send thanks to J for the wonderful role that he has played in helping you get to where you are today mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Without J having been in your life, whether actively or passively, you would not be in the wonderful spot that you are today.
Granted, there are moments when you feel adversely. There are times when you are down. And there is much to be happy for and so there is much about you that is happy. Look at this happiness and see the beauties of happenings that have brought you to this point. J is one of these beauties, even as some of the relationship was trying to you. Indeed, it was trying to him, too, in a number of ways and it was this adversity that caused you both to part ways, and also it was the adversity that brought you both, compelled you both, to look within and begin to see some aspects of self that had not been examined before.
You see, if we go through life with nary a blip on the screen of adversity, we might be sorely tempted to coast through life without thinking more deeply about who we are and what we want in life and what we need to do to get there. So adversity has its rich reward if, IF you take the challenge and you act upon it with the intention of soul advancement. Not all turn adversity into benefit. But this is always the reward if we seek the reward.
So unconditional love is a part of you that is natural to you. It is the state of self untainted, unaffected by any fear beliefs. It is the releasing of expectation and it is the allowance of love to flow. It is the light of the Creator as the Creator shines in everlasting ways, and it is the hopefulness of every relationship, because every relationship can be a joy if we perceive it through the eyes of unconditional love. Letting go allows us to give respect to the other person through our own sense of equality with them, and appreciate them for the beautiful, essential person that they are.
This you have done with J many times over, and this is a beautiful feeling that you can draw upon inside as you feel the love that you have for him and as you appreciate the gentle love that he has for you in his heart. The surface question marks of today are really not question marks. Rather they are just ripples on the surface of the water. They are part of the movement of energy as you move forward in your thinking and in your life. You cannot expect anyone to remain in stasis; in fact you may rejoice for anyone who is moving forward, as you are. This kind of movement is always commended, always sought, and always cultivated by the helping energy that surrounds each human. The angel energy of love that encircles each of you is ever supporting your movement and change into more loving energy.
So believe in your loving energy because it will support you during this time of equivocation. You are circling in your energy expansion; you are spiraling upward. You are learning new images of what you have felt before, and you are revisiting old energy so as to cement the new energy of acceptance and love and appreciation, value, equality, truth and personal responsibility into place. There is much to be happy for with this.
J, too, is working with spiral energy. He is moving forward. And the two of you can be happy that what you shared was infinitely instrumental in this taking place. It was never meant for you and J to stay together. You well know this because you know that your energy was not matched for longevity. It was matched for the intention of gain that you each had for that year, that very special year in your lives. There is no looking back in regret; there is only appreciation of the gains.
So once again you are challenging yourself to appreciate the gains. This is normal. Every lesson is learned in fractal images, seven times seven into infinity. You are learning in the pattern of energy that is totally appropriate and needed. You have advanced. You are successful in learning the deep lessons from your physical time with J, which is over, and your soul time, which is never really over; it is eternal because you have shared in love and it is this love that is the bond that you can ever draw upon to remember that the love you seek is within you. It is not in J. J was/is only a mirror for you to look into as you see the beauty that his beauty reflects back to you as an image of your own beauty. See beyond the mirror into your own eyes, the eyes of love that you now want to share with a new partner. Open your heart to the unconditional love of self, and share this love eternally with J and with all who come into your path.
Unconditional love is a blessed feeling within the heart of man, and it will always guide you in the path of purpose, of advancement, and of comfort. Feel the comfort of your internal love, and know that it always returns tenfold as you share it with your fellow man.
