Dear angels of my higher self: This has been a most challenging year. I have been challenged in so many ways - financially, health wise, emotionally. Why so much at one time? What am I trying to teach myself and I wonder, too, how this all ties in with past lives and hidden memories. What within me am I tryiing to bring from my past?L, this is indeed a challenging time - a time of reflection, a time of healing, a time of reconciliation, and a time to understand that all that you have ever been you are indeed at this time. You see, there is so separation between who you were in "past lives" and who you are now. But indeed, there is a space-time continuum that you live in in the physical world, and this is the continuum that you are facing as you face the physical challenges of your life.
Your destiny is to unite your soul and spirit energy with your physical experience -- to integrate the triune aspects of your self, such that your inspiration can show you the answers to all your questions - so that you are one with the Godself, so that you are integrated as a soul and spirit energy adventuring and growing and expanding through universal consciousness. This is your destiny.
But to get to this destiny (which is not a point but an expanding spiral of energy), you must travel through the physical domain. And this is where you are now - in the physical domain having the physical challenges and experiences that are part of your life.
It is true: for you this year the challenges have been challenging, not insurmountable but indeed steep. You have done well. You are doing well. You are showing yourself your power of healing and your ability to overcome the challenges that "life" sets in your path.
In terms of past lives and past-life energy, this is always an element to consider when looking at life's circumstances because, of course, there is no separation between your past and your present and your future. They are all one. So you cannot make a linear line that divides these aspects of self.
You must understand, though, that the past is a part of you that often remains hidden as you in your physical mind find it trying to see what the lessons of the past are. So this is why we bring experiences into our present: we have not fully learned what the lessons are from the past.
In these instances, there is the lesson of love that you are looking at with deep, deep intention. You are trying to understand that the love that you do not feel in your physical world - your physical life - is indeed within you. For many lives - yea, for thousands of lives - uncountable lives, you have been looking for love, desperately at times and lightly at others - you have been seeking the light of love, not understanding that the love is within you. Your relationship with your father show - that you have been examining in the past few months - this relationship is showing you the facets of self-love and the externalization of that quest for love - that have occupied - preoccupied your mind. You’re seeing in the face of your father the love that you have for him and the love that he has for you.
In the past, this man - your father - has lived in many different embodiments. In your most recent past life, this man was your brother. He was for you the brother that took from you a precious thing - your virginity. and you resented him for this and he resented himself for this and he has entered this life with you as his daughter to show you a different facet of love - the love that a father has for his daughter, with the respect that comes with honoring familial bonds and not making them sexual. You see, you were not your "brother's" victim in that other life but you were accepting the lesson of understanding what love means - that it is not truly a physical thing although it is believed to be sexual in the physical world. It is NOT sexual. But in the physical world love is believed to mean sex and you were cooperating with your father to understand this reality.
Today you will be visiting your father in the hospital and you will have an opportunity to help him understand that neither of you was "guilty" for what you experienced in that last life. There is no judgment and there should be no shame. You were/are/will eternally be exploring the path of learning and we learn via experience what we do not want by experiencing what we do not want. We are shaping our experiences to be in sync with the ethical values of our spirit consciousness. You are your father, albeit your brother in that past life, were cooperating to learn a lesson of love and caring and respect, value and appreciation. You are learning these values in this life but from a new perspective. It is good and it will serve you well eternally because you have made great progress in understanding the truth of love as the love of the spirit energy, not of the physical body. The physical body is temporal; the soul and spirit are eternal. You will forever have your soul and spirit but the body is allowing you to learn these exquisite lessons and they - the lessons - are guiding your forward in your expanding consciousness.
Now, let us look also at your relationship with your mother. You mother, too, was with you in that last life. In that last life she was your sister. You see this sisterhood in every way in this life - the sympathies, the comaraderies, the synchronicity, indeed the precious togetherness and the love of being together that sisters often have. Sisters - by spiritual design - are meant to share the core experiences of life and to share a bond like none other. You and your mother now share this but you will for all time switch roles with each other and live from many facets of relationships because you understand that you serve each other well in your expanding consciousness. You are superb teachers for one another.
This teacher role works exceptionally well for you both and you will continue to design it into your lives in the future as you have in the past. You are fortunate to share this promise and this love. Indeed, you have shown each other for countless lives the value of love and the truly precious purpose of commitment to soul growth.
Now, your mother and father in this life have been to you many different people throughout your soul history.
But look to the present, to the moment, to best understand the lessons for you now.
For you with your father, the lesson now is the lesson of understanding, of patience, of kindness and respect, value and appreciation. Do not judge, do not be angry, but allow him to express himself as he likes, as he wishes, and know that you can walk away if needed. He loves you, L, and wants to be with you as an endeared soul because he values you. Give him your best.
For your mother in this life, feel the power of the bond and respect it for its immense potential for growth. Your mother is your greatest advocate. Give to her as she has given to you.
Your illness now is a reflection of the love that you have been seeking. Your mother and your father created you in love. Believe in this love and know that it is in your very genes. To find love in self is to find healing in self. Find your internal love and find your physical healing, which is indeed a soul and spirit healing.
You are made of love. You do not need to find this outside of yourself. It is within, in every cell. Your mother and your father, who were your sister and brother in your last life, will be with you forever. See the foreverness of the bonds of love and know that love IS who you are.
Go in happiness. Believe in love. Be the love that you are.
